


Pray Away The Gay G Way

by SteamyLego (RoakAssault)



Category: MCR - Fandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Gay, Homophobia, M/M, jesus camp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-19 09:51:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7356211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoakAssault/pseuds/SteamyLego
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard is in grade 10. His bigoted dad freaks out when he hears gay rumors about his son. He is promptly sent to a Jesus Camp to reform the Gays. Ah yes, a camp full of young homosexuals to be imminently purified. A camp full of young homosexuals...<br/>full of....<br/>...hmm...<br/>maybe they didn't think this through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It Worked!

Gerard stumbled to the ground as he was pushed from the back. It was the beginning of school and the hallways had just cleared at the start of class. He had been late today due to a coffee run. Even in light of unfolding events, he couldn't say he regretted it; coffee was worth it. "Stay on the ground, fag," a voice spat from behind. "Where does it look like I'm going, hottie?" Gerard replied, looking back to smirk at his attackers. All he got in response was a kick to the torso. A surge of pain wove through him. He almost let out a whimper before he could override his instincts and smirk. "Hit me again, daddy," he purred out. He lay still on the ground as he heard a resounding "What the fuck?" emerge from his group of offenders. Another foot greeted him, from the other side this time. He forced himself to mask his yelp as a moan. "Harder this time." A disgruntled variety of noises erupted from the group before Gerard felt himself being picked up from behind. He was slammed up against a locker and pinned there as the lead attacker, Keith, held him. "You're a sick fag. What the fuck is wrong with you?" he said harshly. Gerard bit back a smile, "Keith, I'm not sure it's me you should be worrying about. You've got me in quite the compromising position, yes? If I were you, I'd be doing something about those blown-out pupils; It's obvious you want to make out with me-to which I would happily comply," Gerard delivered swiftly with a wink.

Before anything was said back, he was being shoved in a locker as he heard the brutish breathing through the metal against the closed door. "Talk your way out of that one, fag." As they began to walk away, Gerard called out, "Not sure I want to, love. As long as I'm here, you know where to find me. I'll be waiting." Gerard heard no response and sighed, realizing he was alone. It wasn't so much the kicking and name-calling that bothered him, but rather the complete impossibility of getting comfy in a locker. Sitting wasn't happening and there was absolutely no space. He leaned against the walls of the confined space as best as he could and tried to settle in. This was certainly not his first rodeo and he was all too familiar with how tiring standing got, especially when there was no walking space. Not to mention that there is little to nothing to entertain yourself within the metal confines. 

Gerard threw his head back dramatically with an exasperated breath. It was a good thing it was the end of the year. Ever since Gerard had been caught blowing some senior this past October in the locker room, he'd been ridiculed daily for being gay. He honestly never saw what the big deal was-he thought his sexuality had been rather obvious. And even if it wasn't, he didn't understand some people's desire to acknowledge it every single day. Didn't it ever get boring? It certainly got dull for him. "Fag", "fairy", "twink"; there wasn't much variation on his end. He was the only one, it seemed, even trying to keep it interesting anymore. 

Gerard hissed as he felt the cloth of his shirt rub against the abrasions on his side. He lifted the fabric and ghosted his fingers over the wounds. It seemed like in addition to the expected bruises they had broken skin. His right side burned as his adrenaline began to ware off. Placing the fabric back down carefully, he debated hitting the locker or calling out to get someone's attention but quickly deemed it too much effort. What would he do when he got out anyway? Go to the nurse and chat about her daughter's engagement? Go to class and watch shitty movies that were meant to waste the days away? Go to the guidance counselor to cry about his father's homophobia which forces him to stay closeted? 

He scoffed at that last one. He couldn't imagine actually caring about it that much. He understood why coming out to parents was important for people, but he felt a logical exemption of this information from his particular father may be wise. His dad was one of those guys that was obviously too immature to have kids of his own, the kind that makes you question why seniority holds any validity whatsoever. The type of Christian to cheat on his wife and never go to church but not hesitate to use violence against his own kid or use God as a weapon against the LGBT. It made Gerard cringe to know that he was made of half that. The only affect the beatings his father gave him anymore would be how they left Gerard hoping that none of the immaturity in hitting your kids was rubbing off on him. As far as physical assault went though, Gerard was over it. It hardly phased him at this point. Nor did words either. Though, the problem of boredom was still strong in this current scenario.

He was trying to lean onto one of the sides without touching the bruises that kept him steady, trying to figure out a way to sleep, when footsteps began clicking down the hall. Gerard heard two voices, both male, as he slowed his movement. He heard the principal address the other whose voice sounded...familiar. He couldn't quite hear the words but gasped when he swore he heard his name mentioned. Why was the principal talking about him? Who was the other guy? His heart stopped. He suddenly remembered his father saying something about a conference to discuss the IB program for next year. He imagined how embarrassing it would be for either of these people to find him in this particular situation and decided to keep still. As they neared, Gerard breathed steadily and hoped to remain unnoticed. 'How fucking inconvinient,' he thought. He heard the feet and voices grow close and counted the seconds until he was clear to go. He stood completely still as the men walked dangerously close. Stay. Still.

He leaned slightly against one of the sides and a coat hook dug directly into one of his bruises. He jumped at this, creating a loud noise against the metal and cursing instinctively. He heard the footsteps stop in front of the locker as his hand flew over his mouth. A moment of silence passed before the principal spoke cautiously, "Hello?" Gerard breathed out, annoyed, before responding, "Um...hi?"

The men began to fumble with the lock and finally figured it out. They swung the door open to meet Gerard, wide-eyed. "Gerard?" his dad asked in disbelief. Gerard offered a small smile and waved. "Why aren't you in class?" the principal asked, at a slight loss for words. "Well," Gerard began, his eyes looking up at the ceiling in sarcastic thought as he brought his hand to his chin, "there's a rather obvious answer at hand here, I believe." He was pretty embarrassed already and was doing his best to act casual-if that was even possible in this circumstance. "Did you do this?" the principal continued, looking more stern than sympathetic. Gerard almost laughed at this. He definitely would have scoffed and given the answer he wanted to if he wasn't addressing the principal and his father. But instead he replied with a meek, "Um...no?" He was somewhat concerned for the man and the stupidity of the question. "Why would I want to be stuffed in a locker?" The principal rolled his eyes and gestured at the metal around Gerard, "No, I meant... this." Gerard narrowed his eyes and stepped out to look towards what the man was showing him. 

Scrawled across the metal, crossing partially over the door in what looked like red paint was the word 'faggot'. Gerard let out a sigh and muttered, "How creative," unimpressed. He turned towards the men. "No, I didn't lock myself in a locker then paint the door. Not only is it impossible and uncomfortable for me, but I would never slander myself in such an uncreative way, Mr. Frederick." "Yeah, it better be slander," his dad scoffed. Gerard rolled his eyes subtly. He knew throwing in the proper rhetoric to imply that the insult had been inaccurate would be meaningful for the bigoted father. The principal looked unimpressed with the sass lacing the boy's words and spoke, looking towards him, "Well, then I guess it's a loss cause asking who did, isn't it?" Gerard wasn't surprised. The principal protected the jocks like they were his children. It was expected that he'd care more for their safety than someone like Gerard's. "Nope, didn't catch their names," he answered in a slightly mocking tone. He doubted the offenders would be punished justly anyway.

"Well, the period is almost over. Why don't you take the next one off, son?" the principal offered, also hoping to appeal to his parent who was present. Gerard nodded and smiled. Who was he to turn down a free study hall? He was pretty sure in second period English they'd be watching Shrek 3 anyway. No thanks. His father was staring at him questioningly as he waited for a closing statement. "Don't worry about them, dad. They're just a bunch of kids with issues of their own. It's not true, alright? I'm straight as an arrow." Gerard theatrically straightened out his back and raised his eyebrows at his father who looked on, slightly more convinced now, as the principal just looked mostly weirded-out by the exchange. "See you later, okay?" His father nodded in response. Gerard gave a final small salute as he turned on his heels toward the cafeteria. 

He stopped by his locker to get his backpack, not that it even held much that was school related anyway. He had one paper folder dedicated to anything teachers may have given, which wasn't often at this point in the year, and one pencil. Well, that is, one pencil for school work. He had an entire fold out belt of pens with different tip sizes for art. He loved drawing. Though he would never show anyone the kind of stuff he drew in his sketch pad, it was his outlet. He didn't really have friends. He would rather have zero real friends than tonnes of fake friends who would mean nothing to him. He didn't the pupose in upholiding relationships if they weren't meaningful. He didn't mind really, though. He had his art to keep him happy. 

So, as he made his way into the cafeteria, he quickly walked to a back corner at a table that nobody was sitting at and grabbed his sketch book from his bag. He hunched over the paper as he turned to a page he had been working on. It was a picture of a bird that had fallen from the nest. It had hollowed out sockets and was being eaten by worms. He laughed inwardly at this. He loved irony.

He picked a thin pen to do work with detailed lines. He felt calmer as the ink settled on the page and began to connect more of the image. He loved the way details made a picture come together. His bright green eyes flicked over the image as he drew with concentration, focusing on just the drawing. He was so caught up in it that he did not hear the boy approaching his table. "Hey," the voice spoke. Gerard lifted his head and smirked when he saw who it was. "Hey," he replied. It was this kid named Steven from his gym class. He was a grade above Gerard and they had never really spoken before. "What's up?" 

"Nothing really," Steven responded. "You don't usually have study hall 1st period, right?" He seemed nervous. Gerard smirked to himself, "No, but the end of the year isn't real anyway. I've already seen too many bad movies to put myself through more." Steven laughed loudly- a little too loudly. He was being really awkward. It was clear what he came over for. Gerard only quirked an eyebrow as he watched the trainwreck in front of him. He decided he'd move things where they'd inevitably go. "Speaking of movies," Gerard continued, "how about you come to my house after school? For a ... sleepover? We can watch anything you want." Steven opened his mouth briefly before closing it and nodding quickly. "I have practice after school. You know, for lacrosse." "I'll just wait in the park until you're done. Can you pick me up there?" Steven nodded once again. Gerard smirked once again at him, "Good. I'll see you then," looking back down at his work. Steven paused before walking away, realizing he had been dismissed. Gerard couldn't help but grin to himself when he heard Steven exclaim to his table, "It worked!"

Gerard had built up somewhat of a reputation over the last year. He had known he was gay and was naturally seductive by nature. Starting with that guy last fall, he had sucked off and fucked a lot of guys over the months. While he didn't have a particular liking towards any specific guy, he found it fun to help bi-curious or questioning guys out with a little... Free trial. Nobody saw him as a whore because the people he fucked went to him, not the other way around, and rarely bragged about their experiences to many people if any; the whole thing was pretty shady and an exchange that one would not necessarily be proud of. The people who came to him didn't know him as the gay guy who liked fucking; they knew him as the gay guy who would. Gerard's role in the school made it super easy for those boys who wanted to experiment to do so- and have a pretty good time while they were at it. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steven had picked Gerard up from the park at 7:30, when the sun had begun to set. Gerard had taken a long night and drawn to pass the time. He didn't mind spending time alone. Now, though, he was in the passenger seat next to a slightly musty and extremely nervous Steven as they made their way to his house. He was watching the scene pass through the window as the boy gripped the wheel like it might evaporate from under him. Gerard had seen ones a lot worse, though. The street looked illuminated with gold as the sun dipped below the horizon. It was a very lovely sight. 

Soon enough they were turning onto Gerard's street as the air become dimmer with the setting sun. All that was left was the moon in some insignificant phase, Gerard noticed. Waxing crescent? Gibbous? Ah, earth science was last year. It had been the dullest science class in the world. Why did they even name each phase? Where did they go from with that sort of information?

The car suddenly sputtered off and Gerard was pulled from his train of thought. He turned and met Steven's wide-eyed gaze. He smiled, beckoning the guy to relax. It would be more fun if he calmed down. "Let's go inside," he suggested, to which Steven nodded. They dismounted the vehicle and Gerard led him inside, holding the door open.

They were met with Gerard's father sitting at the kitchen table, reading the paper and drinking a beer. He looked up when they came through the door, giving Gerard a questioning look. "Dad, this is Steven. He's in the grade above me but we know each other from gym class. He's gonna sleep over. Can you believe this kid has never seen The Exorcist?" Steven smiled lightly at the father and waved. His dad stared judgingly before saying, "Okay. You both have fun then." 

Gerard smiled and nodded as he led Steven towards the door that opened to stairs to the basement, careful to click the door's lock before they made their way down the stairs. Once they were down, Gerard flicked on a light. "You... Live down here?" Steven asked, taking in the art and band posters lining the walls. "Yeah," Gerard answered, walking closer behind the gazing figure. He placed his hand on the taller boy's shoulder and felt him tense. "So does a horror film sound alright?" he asked, smirking. "Yeah, that's cool," the older boy responded, eyes wide. 

Soon enough, the boys were sat next to each other on the bed, watching the beginning of "The Nightmare on Elm Street". Gerard had a subtle smile pressed into his face as the film's introduction flicked by. He could practically feel the nerves radiating off of Steven next to him, but he was somewhat used to it. People came to him not when they were confident but when they were still questioning their sexuality. So, the boy who was vigorously shaking right beside him meant nothing to his calmness.

Suddenly, Steven's hand was on Gerard's thigh. Gerard didn't even blink at this. The hand clumsily made its way up to in between the younger boy's legs and shakily brought down the zipper. Gerard leaned his back against a pillow behind him as an 'ok' to the other. Steven let out a determined breath and paused. He put his hand on the member through the cloth and wrapped his fingers mostly around it. Suddenly, he squeezed it, causing Gerard to wince against the awfully inexperienced touch and sit upright once again, Steven's hand still on his crotch. The apologies began, "I'm sorry! I don't know how to-" Gerard waved his hand to brush Steven's words away and moved the older boy's hand off his pants.

He carried his own hand to Steven's crotch and skillfully unzipped the fly. Steven held his breath in his throat as he watched the younger boy work. Gerard's hand ghosted over the older's member and elicited a quiet but needy moan. Gerard regained his smirk and drifted his hand up the other's body until he was gently holding the older boy's face. Steven's expression was now glazed as the nerves were gone. Gerard lifted his face to the other and pressed his lips against the older boy's. Steven lost no time in kissing back, this action being more familiar than what they had been doing before. Gerard, of course, knew this. Kissing was the same no matter what two genders it was between and was a good way to ground the person he was with, amidst all of the new things they were usually experiencing. In other words, Gerard knew what buttons to push to make them his. 

A hand slowly laced itself in Steven's hair as the kissing got more heated. They both knew how to kiss and were having a pretty fun time. Steven's tongue was dominating Gerard's mouth as he pushed more and more into the smaller body. Gerard was practically clinging to the other's hair for dear life as he submitted willingly. Gerard was slightly surprised at how much he was actually enjoying this one- the boy had seemed so clueless. Sometimes instinct did take over, it seemed. Gerard slowly inched his hand back towards Steven's pants as they continued to aggressively kiss. Steven shuddered as the hand danced over his belly button and kissed the other even harder in desperation as a response.

Gerard was trying to focus on moving on so hard that the sound of the movie was drowned out. His senses seemed to be moving extra slowly as they became muffled by this other boy. He was being pretty rough and, while Gerard experienced it a lot, he never could get completely used to being pushed like this. So as the larger body was now completely on top of him, he thought of just his hand and his active mission, which was to please this other boy.

'Move your lips, move your hand. Move your hips, adjust your head.' Gerard listed in his head for himself. 'Breathe through your nose, move your hand. Move your lips, move your hand. Move your hips-' "I KNEW IT!" a voice shouted from the top of the stairs as Gerard's heart froze. Steven moved from on top of him hurriedly and went to zip up his pants, fumbling at the shock. Gerard's dad was standing in the door waiting for something to be said, holding the small tool he had used to unlocking his son's door. Gerard sat up and tried to think of something. "I um... We were... Sleeping?" "Yeah fucking right, you were sleeping! I fucking knew this is why you hang out with so many different boys! You fucking faggot! How many other faggots have you fucked?!" Steven didn't even stop to look at Gerard before scurrying past the angry man and fleeing to his car. Gerard heard a car start up and pull away as he cowered to a corner of his bed, mortified. His dad yelled as he marched down the stairs, "What? Girls aren't enough, you piece of shit? You're going to hell, you fucking faggot!" He bound towards the frightened boy and grabbed his long hair. Gerard could only manage to squeal helplessly as he was yanked and slapped hard across the face, left to fall on the floor beside his bed. He reeled from the pain but could only wait for it to get worse. "What, is this not as fun as getting fucked up the ass? I thought that hurt, son! Doesn't it hurt?!" Gerard was grabbed by the hair again before he could respond. His dad pulled his son to the stairs and practically dragged him all the way up, not allowing the boy to get his footing. Gerard yelled at the pain as his dad muttered under his breath and panted in anger. Gerard's hip and ribs were getting bruised as they bumped against the wooden stairs. His mouth tasted like blood as he tried to stay as quiet as possible, but couldn't help yelling out at the pain that was being inflicted in many places at the same time.

Once at the top of the stairs Gerard's body basically fell limp as he was dragged by the head. He was thrown into a bathroom, the blood from his nose and lip splatting lightly on the tiled floor. His dad turned to run a bath, flipping on the icy water. Gerard scowled at the floor as he cursed his father in his head. He wished he could fight back but he knew how useless it would be. All he could do was feel the growing anger in his chest as he snarled to himself. Before he could think his father's hand was on the back of his neck and he yelled in protest before his head was dunked into the icy water. He thrashed and pushed against the side of the tub as he struggled against the strong hands. He swallowed the icy water and felt it pass through his nose as he tried to find air. He was suddenly pulled back out and he gasped against the air. "You wanna fuck guys? Go on, answer me. You wanna fuck more guys like a faggot?" He was pushed back under once again before he could answer. After about 15 seconds, his father pulled him back out. "Are you a faggot, Gerard? Still wanna fuck other guys?" 

Gerard panted as he weakly shook his head. His dad began to smirk when Gerard spoke out brokenly, "Of .... course not....dad. I want them... To fuck me."

He grinned, open-mouthed, before he was pushed into the water once again. His father was fuming as he held the boy there for a full 30 seconds. His feet were twisting around as he pushed back against the tub, his hands slipping against the hard white porcelain. Gerard was starting to feel dizzy and his movements were slowing. He was on the brink of unconsciousness when he was once again pulled from the water by the hair. He gasped desperately on the air as his dad angrily held him there. "Dad please...." he begged, "asphyxiation.... Too kinky..." He didn't even have the chance or capacity to smirk at himself before he was kicked away from the tub, his wet hair swinging as he landed. "You're a sick piece of shit, Gerard. I have no fucking clue how you turned out this fucking shit!" Gerard shivered as the water dripped slowly over him. He refused to make eye contact with the man as he spat back at him, "It's definitely not because of being raised by you. I hear beating your kids is great for their mental health!" His father breathed out heavily before screaming, "You ungrateful piece of shit!" Gerard moved away as his father reached out to grab him. He took hold of the boy's arm and pulled him harshly from the white bathroom. He was quick in opening up the basement door and did not hesitate before he threw Gerard down the stairs. He clunked down hard until he hit the carpeted ground. His bruises from earlier that day were aching and pain was everywhere. He could only lay on the ground and take it at this point. "Why don't you just fucking rot down there, you piece of shit? No fucking way are you to think to yourself that you're staying like this! I'm gonna find someone to fix you- Not that there's any doubt in my mind that you're going to hell! You're not worth saving, faggot!" 

With that, the door slammed and Gerard lay on the ground, relieved that that was over. He was slightly entertained that he was going to get someone to fix him. Who could his dad find? He sighed and let the pain lull him into an exhausted sleep. "Love you too, dad," he groaned out before shifting into unconsciousness. 


	2. Lowkey BDSM?

'Bang! Bang! Bang!'  
Gerard awoke groggily with a heavy lift of his eyelids. He moved around slightly and felt pain everywhere. His hand ran over the carpet beneath him. Why wasn't he in his bed? His mouth seemed stuck shut when he tried to move his tongue. His mouth was dried with...blood? He licked the corners of his lips and tasted metal, though his tongue was mostly dry. He looked down at his hands, the basement windows illuminating the room, and saw the red of his own blood all over. Faded crimson pooled on the carpet where his head had been. He thought hard. Wasn't he with Steven last night? It was going well.... What was-  
'Ohhhhh,' he thought as he rolled his eyes. He suddenly remembered his dad's little tantrum from last night.  
'Bang! Bang! Bang!'  
Gerard turned his head towards the noise and scowled in hate. This time he heard a voice yell to accompany the banging. "Pack your bags, faggot! You're going on a trip! Be out in 15 minutes unless you want more of last night!"

Gerard huffed out in hate. "Okay, daddy!" he yelled out in the most mockingly girly and charming voice he could muster through his dry throat. He listened to his dad clamber away from his door on the second floor. He groaned as he rolled onto his front and taxingly pushed himself up with his arms. He was used to feeling sore from beatings by now and could manage to function with the damaged flesh he had. He sauntered to his closet through tired eyes and stood in front of his clothing supply. His dad had been pretty vague, which wasn't helpful, but Gerard decided to pack a good amount. Something was telling him this wouldn't be a short trip. Grabbing a duffel bag from some corner in the basement, he stuffed 12 different t-shirts, 6 pairs of boxers and 9 pairs of pants in the bag, making sure to pack two large black sweaters-just in case he got cold. It may have been summer, but some emos (such as he) had some real shit circulation. 

He pulled off the shirt from yesterday, noticing how it was still pretty damp near the top. His hair wasn't completely dry either. He pulled on a clean shirt with some Asian symbol on it and kept the pants he had on. He looked towards the black converse he was still wearing and shrugged. Good enough. He bent down as he noticed little spots of red on the white rubber. He rubbed his finger over the texture of the beaded blood. Cool.

As he got up and hoisted the bag over his shoulder, he realized he almost forgot his sketch pad. He quickly retrieved it from his book bag along with his belt of pens and shoved them in the duffel bag. Good to go. Oh wait- toothbrush. He could go a max of 1 and a half days until his mouth felt at its maximum-gross capacity. He sighed as he made his way to the stairs and had to practically drag himself up them. He felt as though he had just done an intense exercise routine. 'Lol', he thought. He didn't exercise. 

He dropped his bag outside the bathroom door, going in to obtain his toothbrush. Making his way over to the sink, he turned the faucet on as he glanced up in the mirror.  
Oh.  
Maybe that was a mistake.  
Gerard whistled as he took in his face, which was sporting about 23 different colors and shades from green to brown, and everything in between (which included black, blue, red and purple). At least half of the skin remained a ghostly pale, though. There were definitely more bruises on his body than his face. Regardless, the reflection staring back at him was definitely a sight. There was dried blood around his mouth, above his left eyebrow, and covering one side of his face and running into his neck. He saw his eyes crinkle back at himself as he smiled, laughing at how ridiculously beaten up he looked. It was almost excessive. Definitely somewhat badass, but almost a little too much. 

He shrugged and began to wash what he could from his skin, watching the red mix with the water as it slipped into the drain. He examined a cut along his hairline along with a split lip but held his nose mostly responsible for all the blood. It had hit the stairs on the way down and had covered his mouth in blood. It had run down his face and neck as he had slept on his side. 'How charming', he thought as he wiped his face clean with a towel. A considerable amount of damage had been mopped away, but there still remained a prominent bruise on his cheek and above his eyebrow to form sort of a half black eye. Luckily, his dad hadn't downright socked him. 'Point : me,' he thought sarcastically. Gerard brought his hand up as he turned his face, reviewing the damage. He could see different shades of harm dancing on his skin only more clearly now and finally let himself frown as he held his face. He hated any sign, emotional or physical, that he had been affected by his dad. He hated his body for blossoming with defeat. He never wanted to show any assholes who turned to violence that he was affected by them. He watched his green eyes disappear behind a curtain of hair as he moved it in front of his face. He would rather hide the marks than present them as part of himself. Long hair did come in handy. Perks of being emo. 

He clicked the bathroom light off and closed the door as he walked out. Turning around, he was met with the sight of his dad waiting for him, arms folded across his chest. Gerard glared at him through his hair in a moment of silence before he spoke. "...and good morning to you, sir." 

"None of that today, Gerard," his father stated coldly. Gerard returned the stare as he stood in his place. "Now, you'll be going to a place where you'll be fixed. I would've driven you myself but I just couldn't bring myself to be in such a confined place with you for any period of time." Gerard listened, showing no effects with what was being said to him. "There are people here to pick you up. They'll take you where I'm paying to have you go. Now listen to this next part well, because I mean it more than you could imagine," he said, an edge to his tone. "If you do not change, you will not be living with me. You will no longer be my son. What you're doing is against nature and everything I've ever taught you." 

His dad stepped closer to the boy, who remained glaring through his veil of dark strands. "Think of this program as a last chance with me. And know that I will know if you really do change. And you will. Is that clear?"

The last part definitely sent chills down Gerard's back. He felt the hate inside his stomach brewing. He didn't know where the fuck he was going to be made to go, but the seriousness in his father's tone definitely set him on edge. How were they going to fix him? Yeah fucking right. Gerard made a pact with himself right then and there- no matter what might happen, no matter what he might go through, he would stay true to himself. Even though he had never shown it, accepting himself had been hell. Knowing that his dad is as homophobic as he is, his homosexuality had been way less than desirable. He had been far from welcoming it with open arms. Countless nights were spent shaking and crying as he attempted to fight off the backwards feelings he was having. He only came to terms with it when he realized he was absolutely unchangeable. Being known as the gay kid who turned straight boys away from God had given him confidence to be who he really was, oddly enough. That title was something you had to own, not shy away from. He realized that accepting himself have him the self-esteem he needed to be gay. Aware of the obstacles ahead with the specific lifestyle, he felt that no one could ever tear himself away from who he really was. No one. Especially not his dad. 

Swallowing any pride, Gerard stared at his father through his hair and nodded slightly to appease him. Without missing a beat, his father pointed towards the door. "Go." Gerard kept his hateful expression as he reached down and swung the duffel bag over his shoulder. He made a slight 'salute' gesture as he walked past his father and swiftly made his way out of the door. As the door closed he breathed out a sigh of relief. He had his gaze down when he heard a 'beep' from close by. He looked up and saw a large white van with tinted windows parked on the street in front of his house with the motor running. Gerard looked straight at it and sighed. "That's not shady as fuck." Painted on the side of the door in blue ink read "Christ's Angels; Youth Conversion Camp". Hesitantly, Gerard stepped toward the car across his yard. He stood close to the door, unsure of what to do. The car hummed and he stood, trying to make it clear that he was supposed to get in. He looked in the dark windows, hoping someone could see him. He began to raise his hand to knock on the door. Before his fist could make contact with the door, it quickly slid open as three pairs of hands flew out and grabbed Gerard. 

"Ah!" he yelled as he was pulled into the car, the door slamming shut behind him before he had a chance to say 'what the fuck'. There were a mix of boys and girls that all looked like teenagers in the car with cloth over their eyes. He got a brief look at the other people in the car before a black blindfold was being tied around his own face and he felt the cold metal of handcuffs on his wrists. "Woah, guys. I don't do BDSM..," Gerard got out before he was pushed down into a leather seat and the car was set into motion. It was deathly quiet. Gerard was shocked but at the same time not surprised at all. Classic dad. Only he could find this kind of shit. Gerard began to wonder why it was so quiet. He could change that. 

"Um, could someone fill me in here? Just exactly why are the restraints necessary? Let me guess- undisclosed location? Hazing? Oh I know- are you scared we're gonna start talking gay? That must be it. Van full of homos never ends well."

The only noise he heard were the vents blowing the AC. He lifted his restrained hands to move the blindfold off his eyes. He pulled it off his face so that it was hanging around his neck. He saw that he was sitting in a single seat and had two other boys across an aisle next to him staring straight ahead. Well... Blindfolded and facing straight ahead. In front of him were three 'counselors' wearing black ski masks. They were still, looking out the windshield, heads forward. Gerard smirked to himself as he stood and leaned over the seat in front of him. He moved in close to one of the people and whispered in their ear, "Can you tell me what's going on, babe?" before lifting up the mask and planting a kiss on their cheek swiftly. What turned out to be a man screamed as Gerard continued to smirk. He achieved his goal.

He had managed to break the silence. 

Quickly he felt a pair of hands on each of his sides, holding him in place as the man in the middle scrambled to get something from a bag in front of him. Gerard couldn't help but giggle in response. "Why so serious, hm?" The grip tightened which caused him to throw back his head in laughter. Finally the guy in the middle spoke up in a mumble, "We weren't told anything about mentally sick kids..," as he grabbed the laughing boy by the back of the head and shoved his face into a towel. Gerard laughed a muffled laugh into the cloth before sharply breathing in. He smelled a chemically sweet dampness before suddenly blacking out, falling limp in the arms of the strangers.  
\------------------------------------------

Gerard woke up feeling like he'd been chloroformed.

...

He HAD been chloroformed.  
Gerard grunted as he once again pulled the blindfold down from where it had been placed on his face. Everyone was still being weird as shit, looking straight ahead. He looked out the windows and saw that they were on a dirt road. Surrounding the road were corn fields and other rural shit. Gerard thought about how they could literally be being kidnapped right now and he could do nothing to stop it. Well, not much. He could try running...  
He looked down the long dirt path behind him and realized that that option was not quite viable.  
He could try calling the cops. Though... It all was technically legal. His dad had signed him up for this. Damn. There was really nothing to do but live it. Just live the dream. 

The van continued on the path and soon a barn-looking building was in sight. There were four other smaller structures around it which resembled farm houses. There was wooded area all around them, once the crop fields ended. Gerard had no idea where the fuck he was right now. He could be anywhere in the western United States. He had never been good at geography. Hell, nobody has ever been good at geography. He could tell it was definitely not his home city anymore, at the very least. Yet he could be in Kansas to Utah, which, up to this point, he was convinced were places that nobody actually did anything in. 

He could feel his anxiety in his chest. As he envisioned all the worst-case scenarios. He could literally die out here. Or worse- be forced to wear overalls or some shit. He was only comforted when he spotted the sun gently dipping below the horizon as he watched the gold marinate the fields of endless corn. It made him feel safe, in a way. He calmed down as he tried to tell himself they couldn't actually kill him. 

Could they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorree that took a little long. You know how school is x|


	3. Zero Impulse Control. Like, jeez, dude.

The van parked close to the barn as the sun set over the corn fields. Gerard didn't even bother trying to fix his blindfold to make it look as though he hadn't taken it off again. A counselor slid open the door of the van and got out with the other two. They all still had their ski masks on as they began to dismount the kids. The one that had been in the middle looked into the back and saw Gerard with his blindfold off. Gerard licked his lips subtly and winked. The man seemed to suddenly remember something and stepped back. "Er, maybe you can do it..," he mumbled to another masked person. They sighed, stepped forward to the door and grabbed the smirking Gerard by the collar, pulling him out. He was about to say something snarky but he felt a sudden rush in his head as he stood on his feet that stopped him. It appeared that the chemicals had some more long term affects on a brain. He couldn't catch his balance, but before he could say anything, was thrown on the dirt. He tried to break the fall with his hands, but the handcuffs made it a difficult. He landed on the ground with a 'thump' as his mass kicked up some dust. He laid for a moment, still dizzy, in his now dusty black clothing, before he was picked up by the back of his collar. "What's the matter son? Can't hold your chloroform?" the man asked tauntingly. The young boy recognized him as the one he had pecked on the cheek earlier.   
Gerard turned to face him with a cynical look on his face. "Wow, you seem way too excited about this..," Gerard said back.  
"Oh, you bet I am. I'm gonna enjoy breaking you most."   
"Well, if you were hoping to break me IN, I regret to inform you that the pleasure has already been another person's."  
This comment went right over the man's head. Gerard sensed his confusion and leaned in to whisper, "I've had anal sex!" 

The man let out a scream similar to the one before and moved quickly away from the smug boy who was now grinning. This caused the other counselors to eye him suspiciously. Gerard gave them an innocent "I don't know" shrug. The kids continued to be unloaded off the van, all still blindfolded and handcuffed. There appeared to be both boys and girls, some of which looked to be non-binary or trans. Gerard thought to himself, 'Oh, so it's all inclusive!'

Once all of the kids were off the vehicle, Gerard counted 15 including himself. They were all lined up shoulder to shoulder. A few were fidgeting nervously and some looked as though they were either crying or about to start. Gerard, of course, was the only one who could see anything. His attention was drawn to a rather short boy whose left hand was littered with what looked like pen doodles. He was standing still and looked tense but seemed to be turned off to emotion-clearly the calmest of all the kids who were still blindfolded. His head was down towards the ground and his hair was covering where his eyes would be. It was shorter than Gerard's but still made him look pretty emo. 'Neat,' he thought, a teeny bit fixated. 

"Okay, faggots!" one of the counselors started. "We're going to lead you in a straight line. Try to keep up."  
Gerard thought of something snarky involving not being able to do anything straight but restrained himself because of how utterly unoriginal it was. 

The counselors started pushing kids into a single file line and towards the barn, Gerard in the front. The majority of the kids remained to look some degree of worried-that is except for Gerard, whose expression could be described, at best, as curious. They walked up the large doors of the barn as two counselors who hadn't been on the bus pulled them to the side. Gerard made a point to make eye contact with one of them and wink. 

The room they entered was large and empty. The ground was made of dirt. The adults formed the different teenagers into a circle. "Sit," one of them commanded. The kids each sat down, all generally unsure of what was happening. Without free hands to ease them down, many plopped onto the dirt with no grace whatsoever. 

The short boy was seated 5 kids away from Gerard to his right, indirectly across from Gerard, but in a place that was still visible to the gay teenager, which he noted as he watched him with curiosity. The boy didn't really look nervous-More so just kind of done with everything. His hands were in his lap as his line of vision was set on the ground. His expression seemed blank, if not mad. Gerard found himself wondering what his eyes looked like underneath the cloth. What color would compliment his lovely lightly olive skin? What would surround the perfect curve of his nose that was dramatic yet modest? What could match the dark auburn of his hair-

"Okay. Listen up." A counselor's voice interrupted Gerard's thirsty thinking. "When I tell you, everyone will remove their blindfold. We will then go around the circle and state our names, ages, and crime against our God. For example; Henry, 13, gay."

"Wait, Henry... you're only 13? And gay?" Gerard asked the man with fake curiosity/concern. The man seemed to get flustered before responding quickly, "No! Obviously not. It was an example," while shooting Gerard dirty looks. "Okay everyone," he continued, "blindfolds off." 

Gerard eagerly watched the short boy as he undid his cloth. The boy untied the blindfold with his head facing the floor. When he finally pulled it completely off, his hair was still covering his eyes. Gerard was holding his breath- he was so excited to see what eyes completed this kid's face. They could make or break someone's entire appearance.

The boy lifted his head up squinting. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. Finally his hand came down and he opened his eyes. 

Gerard couldn't stop looking at him. His eyes were shaped like little almonds and he had such nice dark eye lashes. They weren't too close or far away from his nose and had a hazel color that was perfect in complimenting the rich tone of his skin. Gerard hadn't even been thinking about eyebrows but he noticed the importance of them on this boy. They were thin and they curved with the shape of his forehead. He was just... So pretty. Gerard had only experienced air-headed athletes with no hint of beauty whatsoever. But this one, whatever his name might be, was just so... Cute but serious. Adorable yet hot. Someone who Gerard could cuddle and didn't just necessarily want to-

"Alright, let's get started." He pointed to a skinny teenager with purple hair wearing a 'Metallica' shirt who was sitting next to Gerard to his left. "You're going first. Then we'll continue left down the line."  
"Um, hi... I'm Lily, I'm 17 and I'm lesbian." It was quiet for a minute and nobody knew what to expect. Then, from the a side of the room, a man wearing an all black robe emerged carrying a little silver thing that looked like a bucket. He approached the girl and spoke, "Your sins will never be forgiven. You will never be pure. You are not a child of God. But," he paused, "you can attempt to repent and win some redemption so that you may enter paradise after death. Praise the lord." He splashed her with water, causing her to flinch. "We shall repent you." He then walked off to where he was before and the next person hesitated before introducing themselves. After they finished, the man in robes approached and said and did the same exact things. 

'Jesus Christ,' thought Gerard. Of COURSE the camp his dad found was a Bible cult. He wasn't even entirely sure that that guy had used the word 'repent' in a correct grammatical way. He was both excited and nervous to see just how culty it got. 

Each intro was almost the same. The only people he took note of was a pan chick wearing a trenchcoat who most definitely sold drugs and a trans female with no eyebrows. Pretty quickly, Gerard got bored and found himself gazing at the boy near him again. He was just so fun to look at. No boy had ever been fun to look at before. Gerard had had only small crushes on boys in his experience, and those were mostly him just liking the idea of liking someone. But this boy felt different- despite the fact that they've only crossed existences for about 5 hours now, with only about 30 minutes of Gerard being aware of the other. 

Regardless, Gerard was ecstatic to hear what this boy's name was...and how he said it. With every detail added to this boy, Gerard only became more infatuated with him. He expected the name to be cute but not too much. Nice but still casual. And his voice... He hoped it was deep but not too deep. The kind that you could hear as being a singer's voice but was too shy to be one. In other words, Gerard was more than just curious about this boy; he was going full-ho on his ass; projecting any and all ideal expectations onto him even though they'd never even exchanged a single word. 

Soon enough, the boy next to the short boy (who was trans apparently) was finishing up. The guy with the robes came on cue. "We will repent you." Everyone seemed to be getting bored, but Gerard was more than excited. He tried as hard as he could to look passive as the boy he'd been staring at introduced himself... But God was that hard. He couldn't wait for him to talk. 

The boy looked up from the ground, gazing around the circle, unsure of how to feel. Gerard was about to pee his pants.

The boy breathed a little bit before opening his mouth for a second before closing it again. He breathed out and looked down. The whole room was quiet. Gerard was slightly confused and watched the boy, unblinking. 

The boy looked frustrated for a second. He lifted his hand, his head still down, and moved them into different shapes. Gerard had taken ASL last year as a replacement for French and he could remember some stuff. He recognized each of the letters the boy was signing. 'F', 'U'-wait no... 'F', 'R', ...'A'?...'N'... 'K'...

Frank? Frank. Gerard couldn't help but smile slightly. He liked it. It fit him. He felt warm but tried to focus. Frank held up his hands again and signed that his age was '16'. Now was the info that Gerard had been waiting for. He crossed his fingers. 'Gay, gay, gay..." Frank put two fingers to his chin and pulled them down twice. Gerard didn't recognize this sign and was a little puzzled. Everyone seemed to be. 

"Um," spoke a masked person with a clipboard, "That's Frank. He's 16 and gay." Frank nodded slightly and continued to look down. Gerard had to restrain himself from fist-pumping and yelling out in victory. 

He was so excited about this boy. He just kept looking at him looking at the ground in a desperate sort of daze. He was wondering why Frank couldn't talk. Was he deaf? Mute? He hoped he was alright. Woah... What. He couldn't help but feel a little stupid for caring this much for a complete stranger. Sigh. He could only stare hopelessly at him and hope his face didn't look too busted up today. He just couldn't stop looking at that pretty face. Those pretty eyes. 

Wait, the eyes were looking back at him now. Gerard felt butterflies in his stomach as they made eye contact. Frank seemed to be taken aback by something. Gerard looked like a deer caught in headlights. His hair was over his face but his wide eyes were still visible. He offered a panicked smile which looked pretty strange. Frank just moved his eyes from side to side, unsure of why he was being stared at. Gerard couldn't believe he'd been spotted. Did he look okay? Frank looked mortified for some reason as well. Suddenly, Gerard noticed that everyone was looking at him. A counselor was yelling something. "Hey!" he said, "It's your turn. What, you seemed pretty eager to talk before." 

Haha, oh. 

He had gotten too distracted by Frank that he hadn't noticed he was up. He cleared his throat and spoke, "Hi, fellow queer teens. My name is Gerard, I'm 16, and I'm gay." He made eye contact with Frank who looked away, blushing a bit. "Like, really gay." The man with the robes started again. "Your sins-" 

"Like, so gay that once a cop pulled me over and asked me to walk in a straight line. I wasn't even drunk and I couldn't pass," Gerard continued. A few kids couldn't help but smile and let out small laughs. The man tried again, "Your s-"

"I'm such a fairy that after my friend Peter blew me once, he started floating around the room. I should've warned him...Well, it wasn't my fault he couldn't stop thinking happy thoughts about my pixie dust." This time more kids laughed. Gerard smiled at his ability to lighten the mood in the room. 

The man in robes seemed flustered now. "Uh-ug...your-"  
"Such a faggot, that I can't even get near a bundle of sticks without having flashbacks from my past life of being burned at the stake. It's pretty hot."

This time Gerard noticed that Frank was smiling too. This made him feel ecstatic. 

"Alright! That's enough." spoke a man from the side of the room. The laughter died. He was the only one not wearing a mask. He had a stern face and was wearing an all black suit. He walked over slowly, staring at Gerard, who was still smirking at his own jokes. He had white hair and eyes that sort of looked like a snake. He sort of looked like Santa gone bad- or at least that's what Gerard thought.

He walked in front of Gerard. He stared at him for a moment before ordering everyone, "Stand up." Everyone promptly did just that. He gave the boy hiding behind his hair a glare and he stepped to the left. He held up a key and the girl he was stood in front of paused before she held up her hands which were still cuffed with the restraints. The man went around the circle undoing everyone's handcuffs. Gerard was last. When he stood in front of him once again the boy held his wrists up, watching behind his curtain of hair meekly. The man smiled and dangled the key in front of Gerard before tossing it over his shoulder, maintaining eye contact the whole time. 

The man had a self satisfied smile on his face, waiting for the boy's reaction. Gerard kept his hands frozen in the air as he started giggling. His laughter grew as everyone watched in confusion. He sniffed and sighed before muttering, "I get it." 

The man scowled, horrified. He grabbed Gerard by the shoulders. "What is the matter with you? Do you not know how to read your situation? You are at the complete disposal of us. Your life is in our hands completely! We could kill you right now and nobody would come looking!" 

Gerard kept his line of vision on the ground as he spoke just so the man could hear, "Sorry. I'm just really happy. Or as some would call it-"

The man threw Gerard on the ground before he could get to the punchline. The boy, again, was less than successful in breaking his fall and dropped easily. The man didn't even look as he fell. Most of the kids looked frightened. Frank had more of an angry and hateful expression painted darkly on his face. The man spoke, "I am Pastor Cain. I will be a beacon for you sinners during our time together. I can only hope that we will be able to save those of you that we can while weeding out the people bound for hell." With this he glanced toward Gerard on the ground and walked off and out of the barn. 

The young boy picked himself up off the dirt and wiped some dust off his clothes, his wrists still linked together. 'Shout out,' he thought in response to the pastor. He couldn't wait to see what kind of stuff unfolded with that guy. 

"Now that we've settled what our specific sins are," a counselor announced, "we will give you each pins to indicate what that is for activity grouping purposes. You are to wear these every day. In the eyes of the lord, your names do not matter. Once you die, all that marks your soul are the sins you have committed against Him." A masked man stepped forward and handed pins out to the kids in the circle. Gerard got a little blue star and couldn't help but think about how much this resembled the holocaust. He pinned it to his shirt and glanced over and saw Frank pinning the same kind to his shirt. This made him smile like a little kid. He noticed the girl next to him got a green circle. One of the trans guys had a red square and the only trans female got a yellow crescent. He noticed that a girl who said she was pansexual got a green circle too. Hm. This made him a little bit mad, that to them she was basically lesbian, but okay. 

"Each of you will also be getting a roommate. We paired you according to the labels you give yourself."  
This got Gerard's attention and he listened closely as the names were read. Gay with gay? Oh, shit. That meant.... Oh MAN. 'Breathe,' he had to tell himself. 

"...Lily and Amelia, Cabin 4.  
Thomas and Mason, Cabin 5.  
Jenny (Daniel) and Rachel (Artie), Cabin 6."  
Gerard was biting his nails in excitement. He hoped he'd be with Frank. He was also trying to bite his tongue as the trans kids were called by their birth names. He didn't want to mess things up. He had a good chance of getting the roommate he wanted- and we all know who that was. 

"Devin (Jessie), you'll be alone since you're the only transsexual with a penis. You'll be in cabin 7."  
Gerard ignored how much this made him want to punch that man in the neck and continued to listen.  
"And finally we have..." The long haired boy was about to lunge- he couldn't take anymore suspense. 

"Gerard and Frank, Cabin 8." 

Somehow, Gerard suppressed jumping in the air and screaming 'YES!'. Instead he smiled lightly as he looked to the short and quiet boy. They made brief eye contact until Frank looked away, blushing. He was secretly praying in his head that having this crazy gay as a roommate didn't get him in trouble. Though as he glanced back at the long-haired nerd helplessly squinting frustratedly at his handcuffs, he couldn't help but smile a little smile.


	4. Blame Samara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **There's some potentially triggering material for cutters so proceed with scare**

"Alright, move!" yelled a counselor, herding the kids along. "Your bags are in a pile over there. Find yours then go straight to your cabins. One of us will come by in 25 minutes to check that you're secure. Now, go!"

Gerard slumped over, muttering in his head about the weird number of '25'- like, why not 30, walking to find his bag. Everyone was unsure of each other, so it was mostly silent as far as chatter goes. He found his duffel bag and grabbed it with both hands. He ducked his head awkwardly under the strap so that it was resting on his shoulder and stood up, wobbling until he caught his balance. He tried to keep the bag stable, but it was hard with his restrained hands. He tried walking away, and the strap fell a bit off the shoulder and pulled on the boy's neck, making him stumble. 

As he was readjusting he noticed a counselor snickering off to the side, obviously amused by his struggling. Gerard made a surprised face as though he just noticed his situation, looking at the handcuff's comically then back to the man, shrugged, and threw his head back, fake laughing cheekily, shaking his head at himself, as if he was in the intro to a 90's family sit com. The counselor noticed this indignation and huffed out, turning away. 

Gerard smiled and, more carefully this time, walked off towards the exit of the barn. Outside it was on the colder side of warm and the sky was dark. Off into the cornfields to the left he heard people walking off down a thin dirt trail, crunching over husks. It was lit up by lanterns that were placed in intervals along the path. Even though he was concerned for himself, he had to admit it looked kind of pretty. 

He started down the path and walked for about 5 minutes (with each one growing more more afraid of that thing from Jeepers Creepers) until there was a cleared space with 10 small wooden... Bungalows. He wasn't quite sure what that was but it's the only word that seemed suitable for these little houses. They each had steps up to the little doors with little placards on them. He walked along until he saw number 8 to which he was assigned to. Everyone else had already gone inside so it was quiet. There were the sounds of a million tiny bugs trying to get laid in the air and fireflies floating around in the woods nearby. 

He took a moment to gaze at the sight, but then remembered "The Ring"...  
And picked up speed. He fumbled with the door knob, certain that Samara was standing behind him, but managed to get it open, step inside, shut the door swiftly behind, and locked it. 

Catching his breath, he turned around. In the room was a ceiling fan, a lantern on a desk with a chair, a small closet, and bunk beds. Above the table was a large window. 'Great,' Gerard thought, 'now the fucking murders in the cornfield can get in.'

In the bottom bed, almost unnoticed by him, was a little lump laying on top of the blanket covers. Gerard looked at him for a bit, feeling just a small impulse to hug the other boy- just a small one- before feeling creepy and moving to unload his bag off to the side. It was really hard to move with the handcuffs, though.

Gerard muttered to himself, 'Okay, I get that pasty face was trying to make a point, but like, this isn't even cruel, it's just stupid. When is he planning to take them off?' He dropped the bag at once, trying to be quiet for Frank, catching it on his neck a bit, and began to unzip it with both hands close together. He probably looked really dumb.   
'Was I supposed to scramble around in the dirt for the key and degrade myself?' He continued, 'That completely went over my fuckin head.' He laughed at himself quietly, 'What a right-brained dolt. So DUMB.'

He found a pair of pj pants and pulled them out of his mass of clothes. He instinctively unbuttoned his pants before remembering he wasn't alone. He turned slowly to see if Frank was still asleep- he was, of course. He creeped over to the side of the table so that his lower half wasn't visible from where the other body was. He wiggled down his jeans awkwardly and wormed out. He was focusing on putting his legs in the right holes, not being able to rely much on his hands for balance. He got one in before there was a sudden loud knock on the wooden door. Gerard fell over in surprise, "Fuck," he whispered, trying to get his pants up. He kicked his left leg in. There was another knock, "Cabin check. Open up."

"Coming!" Gerard answered, his pants up to his knees now. 

The handle jiggled from the outside. "You have ten seconds before I unlock this door. 10, 9, 8..."  
Gerard was rapidly trying to get the pants around his butt, pulling them up by the sides, unable to reach around to the back, still on the wooden floor.

"...7, 6, 5..."

Fuck it, high enough. He pushed himself up, moving to the door, tripping on his shoes. He stumbled forward, stubbing his toe on the ground. 

"...4, 3..."

He bit his lip in pain, and grudgingly moved to the door. Right as he heard '1', he got the door unlocked and opened. 

The counselor had lost the ski mask so that Gerard could see his face- well, as much as one can in the dark. The man 'tsk'd and said patronizingly, "Having some trouble?"   
"Uh," Gerard responded, "I was changing pants."  
The man looked at him suspiciously before pointing to his right, "There's a bathhouse for that." Gerard looked out and saw the small building. He hadn't noticed it in his rush away from the cornfield horror creatures he's sure we're there. 

"Huh. Look at that."

They stood in awkward silence for a moment, the man evaluating the situation, before he let it go. "Are.. Gerard Way and Frank Iero present?" he asked, looking down at his clipboard. 

"I'm Gerard Way, Frank Iero is..." he looked back to gesture at the sleeping boy, who was now sitting up right in his bed, watching the exchange, "...right there," he finished. 

The counselor stepped in to see the boy, who timidly waved, then after a pause, stepped out. 

"Lights out by 9."

Gerard looked confusedly at him, "...You mean the lantern?"

The man sighed, stepped in, and flipped a switch to the right of the door. Light washed over the dark room. 

Gerard looked at it for a few seconds, appearing to think hard about it, and slowly nodding. His cheeks were flushed with new red.  
"...thoroughly noted."

The man rolled his eyes, huffed rather disdainfully, and glanced down at the handcuffs still on the boy's hands. Smirking, he took his leave. 

Gerard closed the door and locked it again, exhaling. He muttered, "Assholes."

He turned around and saw Frank, still staring out the door, kind of vacantly and tiredly. This less harsh lighting made him look so pretty. Gerard internally sighed at his eyelashes. His hair was a little stuck on one side from laying down. It was so black and soft looking- like water dissolvable oil pastel. Gerard wanted to touch it. His face was calm, it moved to look at something else. It was looking at something else now, his eyes shifting from side to side. Gerard had a front view of it now. He was basically drooling where he stood as his eyes slid over the arches of his forehead and eyebrows, the curve of his nose, the shape of his lips...

Gerard. He's looking at you.

The boy blushed, and quickly turned away, ducking his head away so his hair hid his cheeks. Frank stared, wide-eyed. Gerard figured he was quickly becoming more scared of sleeping in a room with him. 

Gerard reeled for a minute, mortified then cleared his throat, "Hey look,I ..." when he turned back, Frank was turned over again, on top of the covers. Gerard sighed. He was acting like an idiot. Shaking his head, he flicked the ceiling light off. 

He whispered weakly, "Goodnight." 

He went over to the ladder and began to climb, which was exceedingly difficult with his restraints. Though he almost fell once, he made it to the top. He found his phone in his sweatshirt then took it off, leaving his t shirt. They were right- heat does rise. 

He turned his phone on to see if anyone texted or called. Nothing. In the blue light he saw the little scars on his bare arms and sighed. He stared vacantly at them. He was thinking of nothing. Feeling nothing. 

He popped his phone case off and found the blade he keeps on hand. He laid back and stared at the ceiling. He thought over the day. It was hard to reach his wrist when his hands were bound. He worked with it.

One for not fighting back last night.

One for getting bruised.

One for bleeding.

One for not saying anything back this morning.

One for getting chloroformed.

Three for falling so much. 

One for talking. 

One for talking.

One for talking.

One for talking. 

He clenched his teeth with each line, feeling the dull metal dig in. The finale was always cutting for not knowing when to shut up. He wished he could just know when to stop. His mouth got him in so much trouble. It was fake confidence. It's what he does so that he's not scared of everything.

But he was. He was terrified. 

He cursed at himself in his head, cutting up his arms until he was satisfied. He used the light of his phone to see the blood. The aftermath. 

He always felt regret, ironically. He was so disgusted with himself. He sighed and laid back, letting his arms leak onto his shirt. He fell into a fast sleep, wet eyes closing to dark. 

\-------------------------/-----------------

Hymns blared over a P.A. System at 7 am. Gerard awoke, annoyed, and growled as he slammed the pillow over his head. He held it there with one hand as the other pulled up the blanket to cover more. 

Wait.

He shot up and looked at his wrists. Had the handcuffs evaporated? He turned them over a few times, bloodstained brown. But no cuffs. 

He quickly climbed down the ladder to see if Frank had answers. Did Father Voldemort pay him a visit in the night? Was it fucking Samara fucking with his head after all??

"Hey..." the boys bed was empty, neat and made. He must've gotten an early start. 

Gerard furrowed his brow, confused and panicked. A silver object on the table caught his eye. 

The handcuffs. Next to their key. 

He went over to evaluate. He looked in confusion. Why would they leave them here? That doesn't seem like something this camp would...

Gerard them saw a little note next to the handcuffs. It read:

'I saw where it fell. Thought you would need some help.  
-F'

Gerard stared in disbelief...

...before grinning like a little kid and giggling as he spun around in the cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go. I've been properly pressured into adding yet another. Enjoy. (Also don't cut. It allows your problems to win js)


	5. Rain

It was lightly raining as Gerard walked through the cornfield on a different trail than the one he had come from with a sign that read "Dining Hall", with separate ones beneath it that said "Teaching Center 1" and "Pavilion". He grabbed at his sweatshirt and shivered a bit. It was strangely cold for a summer day- maybe because it was morning. But either way, it made Gerard feel even more like they were in some special corner of hell for a few weeks. 

When he got to the cafeteria, he saw that there were about 10 people already there, eating breakfast. Gerard stopped by the food line and picked up a pre-served plate of mush (maybe oatmeal?) and looked around for a place to sit. He saw two small tables, full, with people casually talking, some even laughing. He scanned the people for a particularly short boy, one with shaggy hair and a nice nose. 

Unfortunately, Gerard didn't see the boy from yesterday. However, he did see an ADORABLE LITTLE SCRUFF wearing RAIN BOOTS! 

Gerard full out grinned like a psychopath as he approached the small form sitting by himself, of course, at a table close to a window. Having at least a little sense of them being strangers, Gerard sat across from the boy rather than next to him. 

Frank looked up at the new company and smiled timidly at him. Gerard continued to smile back. What a freak.

"I really like your rain boots," Gerard leaned in and whispered to Frank. "I didn't even think of bringing something like that. I was pretty sure I'd even forgotten, like, a phone charger."

Frank nodded and looked down at his plate. Gerard waited for him to respond, with signing of course, but nothing happened. 

"I, uh, actually took ASL at school. I'm probably rusty but, just so you know..."

Frank looked up at this, and signed 'Thanks.' He paused and then continued, 'I like your [something]'. Gerard didn't recognize the last motion and decided to pretend he did to seem cooler to Frank. 

"Ah, thanks. You know I like... I think it's good too, probably my most redeeming quality."

Frank visibly chuckled at this one. God, he looked so cute when his eyes squinted up like that, or at least that's what Gerard thought. When he smiled, his whole face smiled. It was so contagious. 

"Good morning, lemmings." Silence fell across the room as some counselor addressed them in the tone of voice you'd expect from a religious fanatic. "I hope you all had a good first night. In about 10 minutes you will be required to go to your first conversion class. As you might expect, you are separated into the same groups as you have been with cabins. That means cabins 1, 3, and 4 will be assigned to Center 1, cabins 2, 6 and 7 will be in Center 2, and Center 3 will be cabins 5 and 8. Have fun and may the lord be in you all." He then nodded and walked off. Gerard had to wonder to himself why he said "in you" and not "with you". It's like they went out of their way to make no fucking sense. 

Silence slowly tumbled away as people began talking once again throughout the room. "So I guess we're in Center 3 then. Wonder what us gays will be put up to."  
Frank shrugged nervously in response and looked down at the table. 

"Hey," continued Gerard, "don't be nervous. Nothing's going to happen." Gerard thought of all the violent acts that have occurred to him for the short time he's been here as he said this. "Well," he said, considering everything, "something might happen. But if it does, I'll do my best to protect you. How's that sound?"

Frank nodded timidly, blushing just a little bit. They both stood up and thew their mush in the garbage. 

Gerard smirked as turned to walk and added, "I would hold your hand for support, but given the circumstances, I don't think that would fly." Frank smiled and blushed some more, shaking his head playfully. 

They fast walked in comfortable silence through the rain, which was getting heavier, through the rows of corn, trying to follow the signs to where they had to go- preferably before it started down pouring on them. 

They finally found themselves on a thin path with the sign "center 3", the white paint seeming to drip from the wood. They marched down it until they saw a small clearing, which was surrounded by woods.  
"Well, at least we're out of the fucking corn for once." Frank nodded in agreement.

They approached the shady looking "center", which looked more like an abandoned cottage. As they neared Gerard could see that the windows were covered in black material. He just sighed and tried not to think about what was happening right now.

The stairs to the front door creaked and moaned as they were climbed, like a stiff joint that you could feel rubbing against itself. They carefully opened the door to reveal pitch black space that the gloomy gray light of the day didn't even begin to penetrate. 

Gerard just stared, not knowing what to do, when he felt a hand lightly touch his arm for comfort.  
"It's alright, man," he said, not thinking that was true at all. "Let's just leave-"

"Come, do not let the light in." Frank now tightened his grip, slightly terrified. 

"What?" Gerard sharply asked in return. 

"Close the door. The other two are already here."

Gerard hesitated, but then slowly closed the creaking door behind them. In the dark, he reached out for Frank so that they actually were holding hands now. They walked forward, both holding to the other desperate for a palpable sense of reality in the disorienting blackness. 

"Sit anywhere," the voice ordered. The boys lowered themselves, reaching out the whole time to make sure they hadn't lost each other. Gerard noticed Frank was shaking now a little bit. He wasn't sure if he was too. He wished he could comfort him right now with words, but that wouldn't really work. All he could do was gently rub the back of the boys hand his free one and hope the small amount of physical comfort was enough. 

Suddenly a small candle was lit in the center of the room. This soon turned into two- Then three, then four. Gerard slid his hand, which was holding Frank's, in the gap between the two of them so that it was less obvious what was happening. He didn't even think of letting go. 

Even knowing Frank for less than a day, he still felt a definite need to protect him. Maybe because he was small. Don't be mistaken, Gerard's gay heart fluttered like a dying moth as he held Frank's clammy hand in support. But he knew he had to be strong for both the other boy and himself. 

"Welcome, young sinners, to the first day of purification. This is the very first step that will bring you closer to God."

"Praise," spoke the other three counselor's- who were apparently in the room- to fill the pauses of the first speaker.

"We, at this camp, feel the first step to eradicating the sin within us is to acknowledge is as living inside. For the first part of an activity which does this, each of you will be designated a counselor to confess all of your, in this case, homosexual sins. For example, I will be paired up with Thomas."

The two other gay boys from cabin 5, Thomas and Mason, were sitting on the opposite side of the room. They both looked unsure and very weirded out. Gerard was sure that he and Frank did as well. 

"Get to work." 

Gerard gave Frank's hand one final squeeze before he had to let go in order to go to the counselor which was summoning him. They each went to their own corners of the room. 

"Hello, Gerard," said the counselor he was with. He was a rather large man, and though it was hard to tell with the scattered lighting around the room, Gerard was pretty sure he had a neck beard. 

"My name is Daniel," he continued.

"Uh, hi, 'Daniel'."

"Feel free to confess everything. The more you tell, the closer you can be to God."

The candle which Daniel held flickered between them, making the man look demonic, his eyes blackened out and his face a glowing red. 

"Sure thing, man. Where to start." Gerard thought for a second before starting.

"Well, it all started recently, I'd say. I blew this kid two years older than me in the fall just to know how it felt to do that. It's really funny how the people that will beat you up for being homophobic will cum like a broken fire hydrant when being blown by a fag like me. But anyways, word got around that I was willing, basically, which no other guys really are. So bi-curious/ obviously gay douche bags will come to me. The good part of it is gained experience for me and a whole lot of shit on guys I never would've dreamed of having. For example, this kid Danny on the wrestling team," Gerard started losing it with laughter as he thought about it, "he fucking sweat through his sheets when I was blowing him. He stood up and he legitimately looked as though he wet his own bed!" Gerard was tearing up as he remembered these times he found hilarious. "And don't even get me started on this kid, Steven,"

Gerard retold as many tales as he could recall about his gay experiences in a completely unserious, and rather loud, manner. When he was finally done, he let out a breath. It was then he noticed how silent the rest of the room really was. He turned to see everyone looking at him. He daintily shrugged, unashamed.

The head counselor cleared his throat, "Now that we've confessed," he stated, glancing judgingly at Gerard, "each of you shall fight, physically, the frustration you feel in regards to this. Your counselor partner will act, in place, as your biggest homosexual frustration. For example, Thomas disclosed to me that his father lacked in nurturing him for his life, thus creating his homosexuality. I will,therefore, be his father." 

There was silence as this was received, every teenager weirded the fuck out- understandably so. Thomas looked away, not loving that this information about him was just revealed. The counselor only smiled in the low light. 

Gerard squinted his eyes and it took everything he had not to call out-

Nope. He called out anyways.

"Isn't that kind of gay?"

The counselors tight smile slackened and he spat back, "I think that's the problem here. That everyone is 'kind of gay.'"

Gerard just looked away, too weirded out to respond. 

The counselor collected himself, "All of your counselors here are graduated alumni of this camp, successfully converted from homosexuality. We understand that this method works and it will for you too."

Gerard just nodded slightly, a little scared, but still trying super hard not to bring up the fact that since the counselors were so excited about rolling around with teen boys, maybe they hadn't successfully 'eradicated' the homosexuality in them. Just saying. 

"This will be done one at a time, in front of everyone," the counselor continued. "There is no time limit- fight until all your frustration is out. Thomas and I will go first."

As could be predicted, the wrestling was pretty odd to watch. At first Thomas was hesitant to fight, but he got pretty into it after a few minutes, probably due to all the weird tension of even being present at the camp. They tumbled around, the counselor being far more careful than Thomas, for around 15 minutes. They finally stepped back after that time, panting and holding their stomachs. Thomas was embraced by the counselor, suddenly, once he caught his breath. "I love you, son," he said, before leaning down and gently kissing Thomas on the lips. 

Gerard stared wide-eyed, trying as best as he could to not burst out in confused laughter or tears. He wasn't even sure which would come out. Isn't that assault? Or pedophilia? He was hoping that wasn't required for all of the counselor/ camper pairs.

The counselor spoke, "Mason and his partner, you have the floor."

The second fight went about the same, the boy fighting back in awkward anguish and, most creepily, a hug and kiss at the end. That's why when Gerard was called next, he was pretty nervous. 

His counselor seemed a little too excited as they took to the center. Gerard decided he'd try to make if brief, as it seemed the counselors where definitely enjoying the wrestling a little too much. He didn't know what kind of fetish this was, but he didn't want to find out first-hand.

He stood awkwardly, across from the large man he had to fight, and tried to seem determined but was, on the inside, so close to having a breakdown from how fucking funny this was. He had to keep his head. 

He figured if he injured the man too much to continue in an initial blow, he couldn't get in trouble, plus he might make the man forget about the kiss and be spared that sexual assault. 

The man was smiling and waited for Gerard to move. The orange light moved as the males stood still. 

In one flourish, Gerard ran forward and kneed both the man's privates and gut simultaneously. He expected a yelp of pain and curses that did not come.

Gerard was surprised to see the man only seem happier at this physical blow. Ew, what the hell? He had been joking about the BDSM before but this was actually happening. He had no plan. 

He had no choice but to lunge back at the man, frustrated and grossed out by the situation he was in. He took less of a wrestling approach and found himself repeatedly hooking and jabbing at the body, which seemed minimally affected. 

He went at it for around 20 minutes until he was all tired out. The man hadn't fought back really at all but seemed tired from receiving for so long. Gerard had his hands on his knees as he panted. He slumped to the ground, sitting, in defeat. 

The man loomed over him before squatting down to his level, holding Gerard's face with his hand. Gerard had a look of pure disgust on his face as he knew what was coming. He couldn't let this happen. But it was.

As the man leaned in, Gerard panicked. This was too fucking much. He called out to no one in particular, "Can I please abstain from the kiss? I'm really not comfortable with it." 

There was dark laughter from the side, "Do you really think this is about what you want? This entire camp is run under the premise that you are in our hands- we will treat you as our property." Gerard gaped for a moment before his head was turned by a hand and he was suddenly being forcefully kissed by someone. He pursed his entire face and pushed the man off of him. He got off the floor quickly and scurried to his corner, bringing his knees up to hold them. 

Gerard wasn't the best at fighting back. He mouthed off quite a bit, but on the inside, he was just scared. It was all just a defense mechanism. When people were rough with him, he turned off. He couldn't fight back when the physical threat was too much. Just like how he went limp whenever his father acted up or just played dead when bullies wanted to kick him. 

He thought about how Frank had just seen him fail at fighting back, how he was probably wondering how Gerard would even begin to defend him as he promised. He probably thought he was weak. Gerard certainly felt that way.

"Now, finally," the counselor spoke out once he gathered himself, "we have Frank and his partner. You have the floor."

Frank's head was ducked to the floor as he walked to the middle. His counselor was a leaner man, a little ratty looking. Gerard watched on, weakly, not wanting such a gentle boy like Frank to have to deal with all that. 

Frank stood silently for a few minutes, the counselor smiling expectantly at him. Then, in a second, Frank ran and took the man down. Gerard and everyone else in the room was taken aback at this violent frenzy.

Frank seemed set on not being the submissive person that everyone expected. He was clearly much stronger than his opponent and had him in a choke hold in about two minutes. 

Frank remained intensely calm as the man tried to pry himself free of Frank's suffocating grip, clearly struggling. There were no noises but the sound of the man gasping for air, Frank's silent determination speaking volumes in place of his muteness. The three younger boys silently rooted for Frank as he gave this guy what he deserved. Gerard was in awe as this little fireball held his own. He was... Impressed, to say the least. 

"Okay! Okay," the first counselor ran in to pull Frank off the man. Once he had done so, which took a bit of time seeing as Frank had intentions of seeming homicide, the small boy quickly stood up, not wanting to be in a position of weakness. 

For a bit, it seemed like the man Frank had fought with would forget about the "forgiveness" of the activity. But once he could breathe again, sure enough, he turned to Frank, whose expression was nothing short of pure hatred. His hands clenched in fists as the man leaned forward expectantly. When he was so close that the kiss was practically happening, Frank suddenly stepped back, got into a fighting stance, and uppercutted the man with a crack of impact, quickly following through with a left hook. The man yelled, blood curling from his lip and nose as he reeled in pain, stumbling backwards. The room stood in disbelief at this defiance. Even Frank seemed surprised that he had gone that far. 'Oh, no...," Gerard thought to himself. 

"You fucking brat!" the man yelled at Frank, snapping the people in the room back to reality. 

"Hold him down, please," ordered the first counselor, mostly unamused. The two other men rushed in to hold Frank down as the man he had hit walked slowly up to him. He put his head down in defiance as he heard the man walking towards him. The room was stunned and frozen as he closed in. He grabbed Frank's chin in his hand and forced him to look up. His look of disgust turned into a grimace, blood still flowing down his face. 

"I was going to play nice. But since you want to be like this, I have no choice." He aggressively kissed Frank, the boy squeezing his face as Gerard had. When the man pulled back, Frank had blood pressed into his face and lips. He looked to the floor in shame. 

"Stop fighting back."

This was all the man said before walking away as the two men released Frank. The boy simply walked back into the dark, seeming defeated. Gerard looked at him, his heart breaking at the sight of this. He wished he could've protected him. 

"I hope you all learned something this morning. The time is now 12 pm. You were supposed to be given the afternoon to explore camp grounds, but given that it is scheduled to storm in about an hour and throughout the night, you are now required to go back to your cabins and talk to each other about what you have discovered today. You are dismissed." 

Frank immediately left the cabin, giving Gerard no chance to reconvene with him. He sighed to himself, feeling ever so dejected. All he could do was walk slowly back to his cabin.

Outside it was raining pretty heavily now and the trees shook in rhythm. He felt the water wash over him, seeming to trap him in the way he felt in this place right now. He felt his warm tears mix with the cold rain on his face as he sauntered with his hands in his pockets. God, it was only day two and he was already breaking down. 

It was mostly because of Frank. If it had just been him, he would have been fine. People had taken advantage of him like that dozens of times by now- it was nothing new. But Frank. He was different. He was something to care about. There was something Gerard felt. Though Frank was cute and extremely attractive, it was more like a feeling to protect your own when in the face of danger. 

They both were sent here to be converted by probably terrible parents on both ends. They were connected by this. They had to band together if they were going to survive who knows how long at this place. 

And Gerard had failed. He felt like he had just let his own brother be sexually assaulted like that. It made him feel like flaming human trash. Why was he so pathetic when it came to defense? Why couldn't he just fucking fight back?

The rain only grew and the ground was getting pretty muddy by the time Gerard reached his cabin, which was about an hour later. He moped on in, not wanting to face Frank after that. When he was in the room, shutting the storm out behind him, he noticed the ball of boy curled up on the bed, just like last night, wet with rain. He sighed, wanting to comfort him so badly. But he couldn't. Frank didn't need his help. He wouldn't want his help.

Gerard simply dragged himself up to his bed and slumped down on the mattress. Sleep overcame him rather quickly.  
\------------------------------------------  
It was around 4 when Gerard woke back up. The rain still seemed to patter on, though the worse of the storm had likely passed. He listened to the calming and familiar noise, leaning his face into the hard pillow. What a day. 

He suddenly noticed soft sniffling and breaths from below. It sounded suspiciously like someone silent-crying. 

He felt his heart clench as he was careful to talk to the boy gently. 

"You okay, Frank?" he softly called out into the air. Of course, he was answered with silence. "Okay, I'm going to come down. Just hit the wall or something if you really don't want me to."

He waited and, hearing nothing, began to climb down to where Frank was. 

He looked into the lower bunk, where the boy was curled on the bed, tears pooling onto the blankets as he smiled weakly when he met Gerard's gaze. Gerard smiled back sympathetically. He slowly walked closer to the boy. 

"Can I sit?" he asked quietly. Frank nodded and Gerard sat on the bed with the other, trying to think of what to say. 

"I guess it'd be dumb to ask what's wrong," he started. Frank just looked at him, sadness clouding his eyes. "Do you want to tell me about it?" 

Frank squeezed his eyes shut at this and Gerard noticed more tears bursting out from the tight eyelids. He didn't hesitate in bringing his hand up to rub at Frank's back as he cried. 

"I'm sorry, Frank. I know I don't completely understand but, you know, at least I know how it feels," he offered carefully over Frank's silent tears riveted down his face. "It's not okay what they did, man. There's probably legal loopholes with this camp and shit that makes it not prison worthy, but it really isn't alright." He paused and sighed. "I know it's scary, and I know I'm fucking useless, but I am looking out for you." Gerard noticed Frank was shivering slightly as his hand rested on his body. 

"It's so hard because I want to fight for you, but I also have no balls... And I know that I could get in some deep shit if I'm not too careful, you know? Then I wouldn't have you, and God, I think I need you."

Frank looked at him as he heard this, peeking up from his cocoon of misery at these meaningful words. Gerard weakly smiled, "Sorry I didn't defend you." He looked away as he felt tears stinging his own eyes.

He felt a hand touch his shoulder and looked back to meet Franks face with watery eyes. Frank offered a small smile with an understanding glow. 

He reached for a pen and paper sitting on the nearby table and began to write to Gerard, who watched with patience. 

'We all have to be careful. We all have to fight. I need you for support, but I have to defend myself, to some extent. It's brutal here.'

Gerard nodded as small tears washed over his face. He hated this fucked up place.

"I'm here for you. And I promise, I will fight for you. It sounds kind of creepy since we just met and everything, but we've already been through some shit together, you know?" 

Frank nodded and scribbled a response, 'Agreed. Plus, I know I can trust you... (Nice shirt).'

Gerard read this and looked down. He had forgotten he was wearing his "Dookie" shirt. He started laughing once he saw it and understood. Frank smiled widely back at him. 

"Yeah, you can trust me. And I'm serious." They looked at each other meaningfully, forgetting to blush. Wait, nope- they were blushing alright. 

Gerard sighed and looked down, "I just don't understand. Isnt kissing minors like both gay and really creepy?"

Frank shrugged in response, looking sad again. 

"I hope nothing like that happens again. That was one of the worst kisses I've ever had." 

Gerard expected Frank to chuckle even lightly at this dark poke at comedy, but he instead looked down at his paper. He brought the pen up to write and closed his eyes, breathing. He sighed, then wrote, his hair falling over his face.

He slid the paper over to Gerard without looking up. He watched Frank, who looked ashamed, and moved his eyes down to read the note.

'I wouldn't know. That's the first time I've been kissed. That's sort of why I freaked out and punched the dude.'

Gerard felt his heart cleave in 1000 different directions as he read this. Different worlds of emotion crashed over him as he realized what this meant. 

He thought for a minute before looking to Frank, who was shyly now looking at the boy, embarrassed about disclosing this secret.

Gerard stared into two pools of orange and hazel, barely thinking, only feeling, as he reached out and touched Frank's neck gently, rubbing the cold skin, leaning in, pressing his lips to Frank's. 

The smaller boy kissed back and reached up to touch Gerard's face with his cold fingertips. They both became aware of the cuts on Gerard's lips as they softly breathed into each other, holding each other as the rain beat down outside. 

Gerard pulled back after the kiss naturally died away, each of them keeping the extra bit of warmth on their lips.

"That ... That was your first kiss. Okay?" Gerard whispered, still close to Frank, looking seriously into his eyes. Frank nodded, bringing Gerard in for more. 

They hugged lovingly after they were done kissing, sharing warmth against the cold. Without any words, they settled into Frank's bottom bunk, under the blankets, falling asleep in each other's arms.


	6. Day 2

Gerard yawned as he trudged through the mud. The storm had left behind a mess, and the early resignation to their cabins had meant that Gerard and Frank had also gone to bed early. Like. Very early. 

They both had woken up around 3 am, ready to go. At first they tried to go back to bed by acting out scenes from their bedside bibles. This escalated to a game of Biblical charades, with Frank using ASL to his advantage. 

They finally settled down after Gerard's 15th giggling fit, and laid exhausted in their beds as the sun rose. From there, it was only an hour until the dusty hymns were rolling through the speakers to wake them up. The hunger pangs from barely being fed the day prior were the only reason they forced themselves out of their cabin and to the cafeteria. 

They finally made it to the little building and moved slowly as they collected their non-brand-specific mush. As they turned from the food line to sit, they noticed placards on each table that hadn't been there yesterday, with each cabin assigned to a separate table. Gerard fell into the seat of the 'cabin 8' table and Frank yawned as he lowered himself, more gracefully, into the seat across the table. 

They had been eating in quiet for about 15 minutes when a voice sounded from the front of the room. "Please pause your meals and lower your heads for morning prayer." Gerard barely had time to squint his eyes in the direction of the man reading off of a bible before he was being bombarded with words like "deliverance" and "temptation". 

Gerard, having experienced church at a young age, immediately zoned out at the mention of those key words. He focused his eyes across the table on Frank's tired face, watching him gaze down at his empty bowl as he fiddled with the spoon. He smiled, his head empty with some hints of memories from last night. It was a good night. 

He tuned back in when normal daily announcements started up, "... and so, your first biological lecture will be later on this day. But as for this morning, we have something new that will become a daily activity. Further details will be given at the site of learning, which you will be led to by me in about 10 minutes. Meet around the back of this building by then. See you all soon- and may God be in you all."

When all fifteen kids were gathered outside, the counselor led them through an unlabeled path until they found themselves at the edge of the woods. From there, they followed a less distinct path until they reached a large clearing with several tree stumps spread out across it, rooted into the ground. Next to each of them was a pair of shovels. 

"This is what you'll be doing everyday, 8-12. You will work with your cabin partner to uproot these tree stumps from the ground. This exercise will both discipline you and serve as a metaphor of the evil you should all be working at uprooting within yourselves. If you succeed in uprooting it, great- if you don't, the hard work you put into it will surely make a mark."

The man paused, a smug grin on his face. Gerard wanted to gag at that metaphor, somehow both pretentious and basic as fuck. The man continued, "A lunch bell will sound at 12 o'clock to signify the end of the work period. I wish you all luck- may you find yourselves in your manual labor."

As soon as he finished his speech the counselor started back to the cafeteria. This abrupt departure left the campers a little stunned. After standing around for a few minutes they each waddled over to a tree stump and started to dig. Gerard poked at the stump's side with his shovel. "How the fuck do you even start?" He looked over to Frank for response to see the boy had already accumulated a small pile of dirt. Frank looked up and shrugged. 

Gerard whined, "Heyyy, why are you actually doing the thing?"  
Frank just signed with what Gerard amounted to 'nothing else to do.' The long-haired boy sauntered his way over to the other boy and said low to him, "We can always kiss some more...there's nobody around...". Frank just glared at him and gave him the finger. Gerard sighed and sat down on the stump, "Or, we can talk."

They talked about their favorite movies for half an hour. Sometimes Frank signed too quickly for Gerard to understand, and the conversation would become a continuation of their game of charades. Gerard found himself talking for a solid five minutes without Frank responding. He paused to watch the short boy work. "We never really discussed what went down yesterday." Frank paused, and signed back without looking up, 'What happened?'   
"Well, you didn't tell me about how you're an actual ninja." Frank looked to him with a stare that said he didn't want others to hear this conversation. Gerard continued by signing, 'Where did you learn how to fight like that?'

Frank put the shovel on the ground and sat on a nearby rock. 'I fight a lot.' Gerard smiled sympathetically and signed back 'Me too'.   
Frank smirked a bit and signed, 'Really?'  
'Well, I don't fight back...'  
'Yeah, that's what I thought. You talk a lot, though.'  
Gerard laughed and gazed down a bit. Speaking this time, he responded, "Sometimes it's easier to play dead and pretend you're not scared."  
Frank shook his head, 'I couldn't do that.'   
Gerard cocked his head, 'Why not?'

Frank sighed. He signed rapidly, and Gerard had to ask him to repeat it a couple times before he got the meaning. 

'My first line of defense is gone. I can't let people walk all over me just because I don't talk.' 

Gerard thought for a moment before asking 'So do you get violent a lot?'  
'Only if I have to,' Frank started without hesitation, 'but I don't hesitate when I find that the case.'  
'Even when it's dangerous to fight back?'  
Frank looked serious when he signed back, 'I'll always fight back if I can.' 

Gerard sighed, 'But remember? I told you that I worry about you.' He paused and blushed before adding, 'I need you to be ok.'   
Frank shrugged and signed back, 'Don't you think I feel the same when you're saying things?' Gerard nodded, 'So then we're at an'. Gerard struggled to remember the word. '-Agreement. We both stop... Fighting back just because we can?'

Frank looked to the sky and tilted his head in thought as he picked the shovel back up and stood. 'We'll see.' It was all Gerard could ask for at the moment. He sighed and laid on the stump as Frank got back to work on digging. He quickly dozed off while staring at a flock of birds through the woods, flying higher than he'd ever be.   
\------------------------------------------

Gerard was awoken by the sound of a chime ringing- the lunch bell. He looked around and saw Frank tossing aside his shovel. Gerard slid off the stump and began walking down the wooded path with his cabin mate toward the cafeteria.

The food choices later in the day were- for whatever reason - more edible than breakfast had been. Gerard and Frank went to wait in line for macaroni & cheese and broccoli. 

Gerard began stuffing his face the moment he sat down. Someone sat next to him; two people, in fact, and neither of them were Frank. His first reaction was to hiss them away, but instead he waited as they sat across from him. 

He saw the girl with the trench coat, Lucy, and a trans guy with sunglasses who he forgot the name of. Lucy lowered her grinning friend onto the bench, watching him until he plopped his head down on his arms in settlement. She saw Gerard staring at her as she sat and put her hands up in defense, "Hey... I promise I'm not just looking for a gay best friend- that's a straight girl thing."

Gerard just rolled his eyes and Lucy smiled back. She looked back and forth between him and Frank. Her expression turned to a frown when neither said anything. 

"You guys are boring. Say something."

"He's mute," Gerard gestured towards Frank.   
"He's mute?"   
"Yeah. Probably."  
Frank shrugged.

Okay," Lucy turned towards Gerard, "so what's your excuse?"   
Gerard squinted, "My excuse?"  
"Well, I gathered from introductions that you were somewhat of an extrovert."  
Gerard scoffed, "Oh, dude, you have no idea how wrong you are."

Lucy just smiled, matter-of-factly, and leaned back in her chair. She glanced over to her friend, "Told you." He sat up and rubbed at his eyes under the glasses, giggling a little bit in response.

Gerard squinted, "Told him what?"

"Well, me and my friend Ezra," she said, nudging her friend, "made a bet about your jokes and more-common-than-not bouts of manic laughter, i.e. the van, when evil Santa threw you to the ground. I voted that you were insane. He has been insisting that you're just one hell of an extrovert and you're trying to make things easier for the youngun's sake. But, of course," she tossed some hair off her shoulder, "I was right."

Gerard and Frank stared at her for a bit. Lucy stared back. Ezra walked his hands around the table like little people. 

Gerard dropped his line of sight, poking at his broccoli with a fork. "Guess I wouldn't know- it seems you're better versed in analyzing people you barely know."

Lucy talked between bites of food. "Ezra and I people-watch for fun. We rarely get to meet the people we find interesting enough to want to watch, but here we are, holed up by some corn in Jesus camp, nothing else to do..."

Gerard looked to the boy, who was now making his hands kiss, "So you guys already know each other?"

"His mom signed him up for this camp back in March when he came out to her. I tagged along because it seemed fun. Plus..." she glanced over to where the boy was bobbing his head to music that wasn't playing, "due to his habit of breathing in more chemicals than air, I thought I'd look out for him." Ezra turned and waved to Lucy. She waved back, shaking her head.

"What's he on right now?" 

Lucy pretended to concentrate, "I think either, or a mixture, of weed and lean... though, he'll ingest anything that'll get him high, so it could also be nutmeg for all I know."

Gerard nodded, "I guess yesterday's version of 'class' for trans folk was pretty bad too."

Lucy shook her head once more, "I heard it got pretty weird. They grouped them all together because they don't know the difference between a trans male and female and..." she looked around and spoke quieter, "I heard they had to get like... Undressed... and apologize to themselves or something."

She patted her friends arm knowingly, "They probably can't wait for the future therapy!"

Gerard didn't get a chance to respond as a splitting voice sounded before he could. "Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you have learned well so far." Gerard looked up to see the ratty counselor Frank had to wrestle yesterday. "Some of you might know me, but for those of you who don't, I'm Randy. Head counselor. Today, we have something a bit exciting in the evening."

He looked around the room, making sure that all eyes were on him. "There will be a class after lunch, which will be your first biological lecture. This will continue as your afternoon class every other day, while the class which was held yesterday in the morning will be the alternative afternoon course. But starting at 6, there will be our first camp fire of the season near the camping site. This is something we like to do every 2-3 days here at camp.

"It is a time slot dedicated to allowing all campers and counselors to mingle with each other and reflect on what you've learned so far." With this, Gerard noticed Randy's gaze fall on Frank, who sat next to him. He saw Frank turn away out of the corner of his eye. "This is an optional event, but I heavily suggest you all attend," he continued, eyes still on Frank, with a growing smile planted on his face. Gerard wanted to punch it off. "I hope to see you all there."

Randy sauntered away towards the side of the room as announcements ended. Noise slowly returned to the cafeteria. Lucy hesitated before speaking, "Jeez, that guy gives me the creeps."

Gerard dropped his hateful gaze off of the man, sighing, and turned towards her, "You have no idea." He looked over at Frank to make sure he was ok to see him back, picking at his food again. He felt a little sad, getting the feeling that Frank was one to mask his emotions. 

"Long time no see, guys," spoke a voice from behind Gerard. From the look on Lucy's face Gerard didn't need to guess who it belonged to.

"Um, yeah. Hi," Gerard said neutrally. Randy shifted his gaze from Gerard to Frank. "I'm a little sad to think that we won't have our class again today. I was excited to give you another chance."

Frank just tightened the grip on his fork in response, to which the counselor laughed at. "It's so endearing the way he doesn't speak." Gerard bit his tongue from lashing out, thinking about his deal with Frank. Instead he clenched his fist and responded with, "I think most would fail to see the appealing side to it, actually." Randy just shrugged and turned away. "See you tonight, Frankie."

After he was out of hearing range, Lucy spoke up, "Well, I guess we're not going to that fucking thing."  
Frank just shook his head in disagreement and Gerard understood. "It's not actually an optional activity. It's a test. Anyone who doesn't go is probably going to be punished or, at the very least, put on some naughty list."

"Man, that's fucked," the girl commented.   
"This whole situation is fucked."   
Gerard nodded, and stood up to clear his empty dishes. Before Frank could get up, Gerard took his tray as well for him. Frank gave him an 'Ok' sign with his hand without looking up. Gerard rolled his eyes and got lost in thought as he took the trays to the kitchen, imagining how he'd beat the shit out of Randy in a fight. 

He set down the trays and plates, and put the fork in the utensil bin. He looked around on the floor for the other fork, but couldn't find it. When Gerard got back to his table, he had already forgotten about it. Frank had a vacant stare, and barely acknowledged Gerard. Gerard decided he'd be extra careful tonight with Frank. He knew the boy could defend himself, but that's sort of what he was afraid of. Gerard didn't want them getting into any more trouble; he needed to show Frank that it was possible to control himself- to turn the other cheek. 

Gerard sighed, wondering how just two days in he was thinking about things like 'self-regulation'. Ew. He leaned his shoulder a little bit into Frank's. They both leaned a little bit into hell.  
\------------------------------------------

Gerard fought to stay awake as some guy wearing a robe lectured on and on about the "power of the human mind". This class was for the whole camp- all inclusive. Old wooden chairs stood on the dirt floor of the main barnyard. Gerard sighed as he watched the 'teacher' trip over his own feet, kicking up dirt around the room.

The man obviously knew his argument wasn't flawless by the way he'd pause when he came to a hole in logic or the wild hand gestures he made to fill the silence. It was painful to watch.

"Th-the... Brain tells itself to be influenced.... By what's most convenient. Raise your hand if you feel pressure to be gay in this... This... New society," the man drawled on, raising his hand to motion what he wanted to see. Nobody else raised their hands. 

Gerard exhaled, not finding the energy to laugh at this train wreck. He leaned back in his chair to look to where he knew Frank was a couple chairs away, near the back. He and Gerard had been separated at the beginning of this session by assigned seats. Gerard watched him doodling on his hand with a black marker, his hair blocking his eyes as he looked down. 

"S-so you see..," the man stuttered out, "being gay is just all in your head. A-and if you believe it hard enough..," he looked around the room and nodded, looking for signs of confirmation amongst his audience members, "you can be back to normal again." He took a breath and wiped sweat off the bridge of his nose. "Any questions?"

Even Gerard, who could have easily used this time to point out the problems in this pathetic argument, was too bored to make this go on longer- for himself and the others. Instead he shook his head 'no' and hoped this meant the end. "Good. Then, you're all dismissed."

There were a few noises of relief in different parts of the room. Gerard probably could've broken his chair with how fast he leapt out of it. He zoomed out the opened doors and stopped at the entrance to wait for Frank. The room cleared out and he still hadn't emerged. Gerard was confused for a second until he turned to see Frank against the wall behind him, still doodling on his hand. He looked up, smiling tauntingly at Gerard who just stuck his tongue out at Frank in response. 

The sky was darkening as the kids walked through the corn towards the 'camping site', a few orange lights illuminating their path. They discussed the funny parts of the lesson they had been fighting the urge to laugh at when they happened- well, at least the ones Gerard had wanted to laugh at. The most Frank could do was huff out of his nose and smile fondly.

Once they had gotten to the campfire, they quickly settled onto a log and continued their signed conversation. Lucy found and joined them, furrowing her eyebrows as she struggled to understand the communication. Once and a while Gerard would let her in on it and translate. Once Ezra found his way to the group, Gerard began talking more with he and Lucy. Frank was content to drift out of the conversation and instead doodled on Gerard's hands, his own not having anymore space.

The three laughed together while Frank listened on, occupied with his own activity. The counselors hovered around the fire and mostly talked amongst themselves. Gerard didn't see creepy Randy which eased his mind quite a bit. He was still wary of the danger of their setting. Gerard felt warm and safe by the fire, talking with people who liked and understood each other. For a little bit, he forgot where he was and the fact that he'd only known these guys for like. One day. It's almost felt as if he had. Friends.   
Huh. So that's what it felt like. 

At some point, when the conversation was focused around the rise and fall of Hannah Montana, Gerard felt a light tap on his hand and turned to Frank. He signed that he had to use the bathroom. Gerard looked off to where the glowing white light was coming out of the nearby stony bathroom about 150 yards away. Deeming it kind of creepy/very gay to accompany Frank along with the knowledge that the ratty counselor wasn't around made Gerard simply nod in response to Frank. 

Frank stood and walked into the dark as Gerard watched behind him.   
"So how's that going?" Lucy asked, voice a little lower.  
Gerard turned back to face her, "What do you mean?"  
She laughed, "Well, we've been here for like. 2 days. And he's already telling you when he goes to the bathroom." She looked around, then said lower, "That's pretty frickin cute."

Gerard was pretty sure he blushed, but he tried to remain serious. "Well, we're both kind of. You know. Looking out for the other. It's just because of the situation."

"Right, right," joined in Ezra, "because protection requires that much giggling."  
"Hey," Gerard said with warning. The two others laughed at him and then returned to their prior conversation. 

Gerard couldn't deny that they had bonded rather quickly, even in regards to the situation at hand. Maybe it was because one day here felt like a couple weeks or because they just happened to be so similar, but it all felt kind of strange. Gerard had never needed human affection before. He had thought of himself as sort of a sexless gay Robin Hood. But now, he was here worrying about a boy he didn't know a week ago every time he left his side for more than one minute. 

He gazed down at his hand where Frank had drawn a cartoon ghost in the center. He thought back to everything he had said to the boy. I need you. He'd never thought he'd need anyone. 

He looked towards the bathroom, more nervously now, and told himself to calm down.  
"Hey, Gerarrrd. What are you thinkin about?" asked Ezra.  
Gerard sighed, "Nothing. Campfires always make me feel weird."   
The boy stopped bothering Gerard as he kept his stare fixed on the building nearby. He sighed, knowing how this would look to everyone. "Hey guys, I have to go to the bathroom too. Be right back."  
Ezra smirked, "Sure you do."  
Gerard just as he walked towards the small building under a curtain of blackness in response.

As he was walking, he began to doubt himself a little bit. 'Frank can defend himself if something bad happens'. Ugh, he was gonna be weirded out when Gerard showed up. He was gonna think he was clingy. Oh god, what if he thought Gerard was trying to sneak a peak at his private bits? He smacked his hand over his face and braced himself for how awkward it'd be. 

Gerard breathed as he neared the building. He decided the best way to enter would be with his eyes closed and slowly. This way he wouldn't see anything Frank wouldn't want and could have the chance to tell him to gtfo. 

He stepped into the harshly lit building in the little hallway with the 'boys' and 'girls' doors off to the side. He rounded the corner with a hand over his eyes. "Hey, Frank. Sorry, um, I just wanted to make sure you were good and uh... " he realized he couldn't tell Frank to shout if he didn't want him there. 

He slowly lowered his hand the way you do when something in a movie is too scary to see but you still want to see it. "Sorry for looking, I just- I have to see that you're o-"

Gerard stopped with his hand still on his face as he saw part of a scene he never wanted to see. 

Frank was being held against the sink counter, his arms twisted behind his back, his shirt lifted above his belly button and his pants undone by the very man he had feared seeing tonight. He was pressed up against the short boy, way too close. 

His hand slowly slid off his face as Gerard saw the counselor look at him. 

"I-I, I'm..," he stumbled, in shock.

"I'm glad you could join us," said the counselor. "We were just getting started." 

Gerard stayed, mouth open, wanting to run, to say a million things, but unable to form one word. 

"It's ok. It will be good. And if you don't say anything, Frank won't eith-"

His last syllable was replaced with a scream.

'So that's where that fork went', Gerard thought.

**Author's Note:**

> Exposición


End file.
